Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Michael Vick or: Why You Should Learn to Stop Worrying and Love Dog Fighting

In April of this year famed American football player, Michael Vick, was accused of helping to orchestrate dog fighting matches over a period of six years. During this six year long enterprise many dogs were reportedly pitted against each other, mauled to death by other dogs or killed by Vick and his associates because they weren’t deemed to be vicious enough for the cruel sport. As I look over the gruesome details of this case I can only ask myself one question…

Who gives a shit?

Inexplicably the answer to that question seems to be the vast majority of the American public. When the charges against Vick hit the news the outcry from the American public was almost unanimous: Michael Vick is a disgrace to his sport and for that matter the human race as a whole, he should never be forgiven for his sadistic torture of helpless animals! As I write this in the eyes of the public Michael Vick is nothing more than, well…a dog.

But why, What is so inherently wrong about dog fighting? We kill animals for fun all the time, ever been fishing? Hunting? Poaching? I haven’t. I’ve never been involved in dog fighting either but I wouldn’t judge anyone who has, that would be hypocritical. Animals aren’t our equals. I want to go on record with that because it is a fact and more and more it seems like we’re forgetting it. Animals were put on this earth for, if nothing else, to be used for our amusement. Want proof, look at this:

Point proven.

I can’t stand animal rights activists, who act as if animals are better than us,

‘If dogs had control over us they wouldn’t make us fight each other for sport!’

No they wouldn’t. They would eat their own feces and run around in circles for hours trying to catch their tales in their mouths instead. Dog’s are stupid like that, probably the primary reason why they don’t have control over us and never will. The minute my dog comprehends the concept of fighting animals for the purpose of gambling or comprehends the concept of gambling in any way, I’m telling him to move out and get a job. Any animal that bright shouldn’t be dependent on a human. My dog isn’t my equal until he can play black jack, until then I own him and I’ll do with my property whatever I damn well please. Incidentally that doesn’t involve fighting him but I take no vanity from that.

And that’s another thing, why are people so incensed over the whole gambling aspect? I always read that in opinion pieces or see that on Fox or CNN. People keep putting this strange indignant emphasis on the gambling part of the dog fights as if it’s the cherry on top,

‘He made dogs maul and kill each other for the purpose of gambling!’

As opposed to what, making dogs maul and kill each other just to watch them die? I would have thought the gambling aspect would make it a lot better. Its one thing to be cruel to animals for the sake of being cruel, quite another if you’re just trying to make an honest buck. You might go as far as to say that Michael Vick should be commended. Where some pro athletes are content with just playing ball and living the fast and loose celebrity lifestyle, Vick chose to be industrious, to seek greener pastures. You see a monster; I see a visionary and a budding young entrepreneur. Think I’m pushing it? Fuck yourself.

It’s very easy to Imagine these dogs as cute harmless puppies but the fact of the matter is they weren’t fighting poodles because that would be pointless. They were fighting pit bulls, naturally vicious dogs. It’s best they fight each other than roam the streets attacking citizens or worse yet be adopted by some compassionate family only to gouge the eyes out of an innocent toddler as soon as the parents leave the room for a minute to sip merlot and congratulate themselves on what animal loving do gooders they are.

According to organizations like PETA modern society has a problem with animal cruelty, I have to concur. Modern society does indeed have a problem with animal cruelty, we’re against it.

My Encounter with Moderate Islam

Last year in my final year at St. Andrews College (a Christian school would you believe?) we had the head of the local mosque come down to our school to talk to us about the current controversy surrounding his religion. It wasn’t long after the Danish cartoon situation and of coarse there was also the issue of terrorism as a whole. The basic point of him being there was to explain how most Muslims are moderates and that Islam is a loving and peaceful religion that was being given a bad name by extremists. At his introduction I didn’t have anything wrong with that message. I didn’t know much about Islam but I fully accepted that the vast majority of Muslims must fully condemn the actions of militant extremists within their religion. But as he began to talk and as I listened to what he was saying all of a sudden I started to feel a little shiver run up my spine.

He had a fairly warm demeanor but some of the things that were coming out of his mouth really threw me off, I couldn’t quite believe that he was being presented to us as a fair and reasonable representative of the Muslim faith. 1st he talked about the Danish cartoon situation and yes he said he in no way condoned the violent behavior that ensued after the publishing of those cartoons…shortly before he began to try and justify it. He said that the riots ensued because the papers published cartoons that were very offensive to Muslims and (paraphrasing) that although he didn’t condone the riots he understood and thought that we should understand too. After all it’s their religion. He claimed that the media had an unfair bias when it came to Islam. Yes, it sure as hell does have a bias, most news outlets won’t dare show a picture of Mohammad but will gladly show and air pictures and speech that ridicule Christ or any other figure from any other religion.

Question time! A few people put their hands up (including myself) A guy towards the front is 1st, I’m glad to hear him taking issue with the Danish cartoon situation, he says something fairly standard (but perfectly true) about how Muslims seem to have more of a tendency to go ape shit over a cartoon than any other religion. Our moderate Muslim friend comes back with an inane comparison:

They were angry because their religion was insulted. Although he doesn’t condone violence surely you can understand how personal that is? How would you like it if he came over to your house and said things about your family? It’s that personal.

To my absolute astonishment the guy at the front concedes the point; that is in fact the exact same thing, and yes, he does see where the car burning maniacs rioting in Denmark are coming from. I am beside myself.

My turn! I say that it’s freedom of speech and that Muslims seem to be the only religious group who can’t deal with the basic cornerstones of western civilization. Ok I didn’t put it quite that concisely; I was on the spot, give me a break. That was the jist of what I put to him. He comes back at me with the exact same argument that he put to the other guy: Me, your house, family, abusing them, would you be okay with that? I wish I had just said, ‘Well that would be trespassing and we have laws against that. What’s your point?’ What can I say? I’m a fan of zingers. Instead I went in to a more elaborate explanation about how if he were to publish something about my family in a newspaper or magazine or show or say something about my family on T.V. I wouldn’t like it, I would probably say something back, but I would never suggest he shouldn’t be allowed to say those things because we have freedom of the press and freedom of speech and I value those things very highly. ‘I do not like what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it’ and all that crap. He said he didn’t quite understand, to be fair his English was a tad scratchy. But the main points he had to make were clear. He heavily implied he didn’t think we should have the legal right to publish cartoons like the ones published in Denmark.

So that’s what we got from our year group assembly with a highly regarded representative of moderate Islam. He was against violence in the name of Islam…but you know…ya gotta do whatcha gotta do. And he wasn’t so crazy about this whole freedom of speech racket we have.

And that ladies and gentleman is the nature of Islam.

This Film is Not Yet Rated.

I'm not one to engage in piracy but this doesn't look like it's going to come to NZ any time soon. This Film is Not Yet Rated is a fantastic documentary which provides great insight in to American censorship. On top of that it's also just fucking entertaining. I hope you enjoy it!

Humans: A Curious Animal

Throughout the history of planet earth many animals have come and gone. Many millions of years ago there where Dinosaurs, giant lizards which could kill and devour any other animal stupid enough to cross their path, although some Dinosaurs opted not to and ate leaves instead much to the amusement of Carnivores like T Rexes and Velociraptors who knew how to have a good time. Dinosaurs are extremely fascinating.

Then there are Fish which still roam the oceans today. Fish spend their lives swimming and eating smaller fish except for really small fish which spend their lives hiding from other fish. Occasionally they will get caught by fishing boats and will either be eaten or thrown back in the ocean. Fish are tragically boring.

But in between Dinosaurs and Fish there are all sorts of other animals. Lions that roar, Cows that moo, Owls that hoot, Sheep that baa, Wolves that Howl, Zebras that make Zebra noises etc. etc. etc. But one animal is more notable than any other: Humans.

Humans are one of the only animals that have evolved to the point where they no longer think exclusively about furthering their own kind and staying on top of the food chain. Humans have created all sorts of ways to entertain themselves and each other. They’ve composed music, created plays and films, invented sports, written books, the list goes on. Humans no longer need to worry about the bare essentials. They’re the only animal that have been so industrious to the point that the basic ingredients for survival (food, water, shelter) are taken for granted by virtually everyone. Because of this Humans can look beyond merely living through each day and add all sorts of extra luxuries to their lives. They can eat tasty foods, knock back fancy drinks, live in flash houses and they can attain all of these things from other Humans through payment or barter, another concept invented by Humans. Yes, Humans have built, invented and accomplished so much over the duration of their short time on earth; however they’re not just notable for their technical innovation but also their intellect. Humans are the only animal capable of contemplation. They even invented the word ‘contemplation’ as well as every other word in this article. They theorize, philosophize and debate each others theories and philosophies. Humans are the only animals that question the world around them on more than the most basic of levels. By all accounts Humans are simply the most fascinating and accomplished animal the planet has ever seen.

Yet despite the fact that they are, by any conceivable standard, the best animal on the planet many Humans have somehow convinced themselves that they’re the worst. There are a large percentage of Humans that blame the Human race for everything. Humans blame themselves for mistreating each other although in comparison to basically every other animal, Humans have proven to be exceptionally compassionate towards one another. Humans blame themselves and each other for living in nice houses and driving fancy cars no matter how hard any given human worked to attain those possessions. And Humans blame themselves for destroying the environment and interfering with nature often forgetting that Humans are animals too and therefore anything they do to other animals or do with the land that surrounds them is, by definition, a part of nature.

Humans guilt trip themselves and each other for things no other animal would ever be expected feel guilty about. Humans currently sit at the top of the food chain, something many animals before them unapologetically strived (and in some cases succeeded) to accomplish. You guessed it; many Humans blame themselves for that too. For some reason Humans just can’t stand to win. Many Humans have taken it upon themselves to lecture anyone silly enough to listen about how Humans don’t care enough about other animals. Once again, in comparison to all other animals regard for other species this couldn’t be further from the truth. Humans adopt dogs and cats, feed ducks, rescue hedgehogs from their pools, attempt to avoid hitting animals on the road, try to preserve wild life and basically do far more than any other animal would be expected to do for a Human. So far there has been no documented case of a Lion making a conscious effort to preserve a Human.

But still some Humans go even further in guilt tripping their fellow man about their ‘attitudes’ towards other species, some going as far as to say Humans should regard other animals as equals. A strange proposition considering the fact that Humans do not apply that attitude in their own society. When Humans race each other the 1st to cross the finish line is the winner and is regarded as the superior athlete. Same goes with any other competition. Yet in the competition of life where Humans have so clearly won and other species have so blatantly lost some Humans have still managed to convince themselves that they do not deserve to regard themselves as the superior species. They look at other animals, some of which could be accurately described as incestuous cannibals, and see something far more noble in those animal’s way of life than the way of modern Human society.

It’s a curious way to react to being the most successful creature in the known universe, that’s for sure. And although there are some Humans who don’t regard their existence as something to feel ashamed of they are unfortunately about as common as a pink dolphin or a black tiger. However these fallacies in logic shouldn’t diminish the Human race’s accomplishments as a whole because although many of them don’t want to give themselves any credit, the Human race is still undoubtedly, quite brilliant. Curious…but brilliant.

I Think My Dog's An Atheist

I think my dog’s an Atheist

My dog is slothful, my dog is gluttonous

He doesn’t honor thy neighbor’s lawn

I’ve never seen my dog pray

He shows no interest in church

The other day there was a knock at the door

A couple of missionaries were standing outside

I was polite, I showed interest

But my dog just sat there and scratched his balls!

I think my dogs an Atheist!

My dog is a heathen,

Godless and doomed to hell

I was heart broken, speechless, completely distraught

I sat in my kitchen, alone.

No words, just tears

And then through the door my cat strolls in

A dead bird hanging from his mouth

I can’t believe what I’m seeing; my cat’s taken a life

He’s broken the 1st rule in the book!

He doesn’t appear apologetic, he doesn’t care at all

He just plays with the carcass, no remorse and no grief

My cat has no morals

No righteous beliefs

I think my cat’s an Atheist!

There are two animals in the family

With no moral compass

So I go to my Mother and say we need an answer

Are there camps for pets like where you go if you’re gay?

Where we can teach them to respect the lords loving way?

But my Mother just shrugs and says, “Why even bother?”

I spun around quickly, almost fell on the floor

What do you mean, “why bother!?”

Our dog is an atheist, so is our cat!

“Well Matt, maybe they’re right, have you considered that? “

I don’t know what to think, my Mother’s indifferent

She doesn’t condemn our pets

In fact she almost sympathizes

I think my Mum’s an Atheist!

A family of Cretans, I would never have guessed

I run from my house I need a place to stay

Somewhere without all this moral decay

My best friend has a spare room in his flat, where I can stay overnight

I accept the kind offer and over a cup of tea

He asks what made me so determined to flee

I tell him that my family is Godless, I’ll never go back

All of a sudden my friend goes on the attack,

“Religion is foolish!”

“Religion is poison!”

“How can you believe in this bollocks, are you crazy?”

My friend is angry

He seems to hate God

I think my friend’s an Atheist!

I run from the flat, I go to my church

And without too much searching I find my priest

Here’s someone who can help me a little at least

My priest sees me crying and asks what is my problem?

My pets, my Mum, my closest friend

They’re all Godless and now I must kill them

It’s right there in the bible, I just have no choice

My priest at these words does not rejoice

“The bible is old”

“It’s very out dated”

“You must understand, its importance is inflated.”

I stare at my priest, in total disbelief

He doesn’t think the bible has relevance?

It’s the one book

The one tome

The very backbone of Christian beliefs

I think my priest’s an Atheist!

This is crazy, this is sickening

I feel I’m alone.

My pets, my Mother, my friend and now even my priest!

Am I the only one faithful? With God fearing beliefs?

Can somebody answer me, why am I an outcast!?

A sign? A revelation? Anything at all????

Is nobody listening? Is nobody there???

I think that I’m an Atheist.

Are smokers really being persecuted enough for your liking?

Man, you know who society really just isn't nearly intolerant enough towards? Smokers. I mean OK maybe we've kicked them outside of bars despite the lack of any solid evidence that second hand smoke has caused one single death and sure we run ads on TV all the time with messages like smoking is the one single thing that holds the world back from being a utopian paradise not to mention our steady backing of groups like Life Education Trust which encourage children to look at smokers like a slimy group of sub human that live in the sewers and devour kittens. But really, shouldn't we be doing more to inconvenience people who are just 'minding their own businesses? Some warlocks smokers don't even want the in door smoking bans! They suggest things like DESIGNATED AREAS for smokers! Ha! Sure thing Mr. Tar Breath, I've got your designated area right here:

Don't look at me like that! Auschwitz is just sitting there, completely unused and quite frankly it's a damn waste. Fortunately it seems that several lobbying groups along with the government are on my side with this. They've launched a campaign to stop people littering the streets with cigarette butts. Apparently this problem has increased as a result of not letting people smoke inside. Some vampires smokers will say we can't expect to alienate them from bars and restaurants and still expect them to keep our streets sparkly and clean. Well fuck that, I think we should have our cake and eat it too! I was once talking to a smoker (if I recall correctly the conversation took place briefly after he broke in to my house raped and murdered my entire family and burned a truckload of orphans to death while doing a naked victory dance, throwing his feces in the air and catching them with his cancer ridden mouth) and he put it to me that bar owners should have the right to set their own rules and regulations, what an unreasonable bastard. My position on this matter is blunt and concise: Fuck You. Should it be illegal for someone to set up one bar for all smokers to just sit and smoke in together? Hell yes it should be, that's why IT IS. Should we impose smoking bans on rural pubs, where virtually all of their customers are either smokers or smoker friendly? YES! Just because they're not bothering anyone doesn't mean they should be tolerated. If we can impose our will on them, we should. It's that simple. Man Fascism is awesome. I don't know why it gets such a bad rap…

Purpose of this blog

I've started this blog because I wanted a place to post basically everything I write. updates on my life, musings, news stories that interest me, just everything basically. It's a place to kill my boredom. I already have a blog on SOLO and anything I post there will be here also but I'm going to use this as a place to post much less lengthy, time consuming posts...things most people aren't likely to care about.