I think my dog’s an Atheist
My dog is slothful, my dog is gluttonous
He doesn’t honor thy neighbor’s lawn
I’ve never seen my dog pray
He shows no interest in church
The other day there was a knock at the door
A couple of missionaries were standing outside
I was polite, I showed interest
But my dog just sat there and scratched his balls!
I think my dogs an Atheist!
My dog is a heathen,
Godless and doomed to hell
I was heart broken, speechless, completely distraught
I sat in my kitchen, alone.
No words, just tears
And then through the door my cat strolls in
A dead bird hanging from his mouth
I can’t believe what I’m seeing; my cat’s taken a life
He’s broken the 1st rule in the book!
He doesn’t appear apologetic, he doesn’t care at all
He just plays with the carcass, no remorse and no grief
My cat has no morals
No righteous beliefs
I think my cat’s an Atheist!
There are two animals in the family
With no moral compass
So I go to my Mother and say we need an answer
Are there camps for pets like where you go if you’re gay?
Where we can teach them to respect the lords loving way?
But my Mother just shrugs and says, “Why even bother?”
I spun around quickly, almost fell on the floor
What do you mean, “why bother!?”
Our dog is an atheist, so is our cat!
“Well Matt, maybe they’re right, have you considered that? “
I don’t know what to think, my Mother’s indifferent
She doesn’t condemn our pets
In fact she almost sympathizes
I think my Mum’s an Atheist!
A family of Cretans, I would never have guessed
I run from my house I need a place to stay
Somewhere without all this moral decay
My best friend has a spare room in his flat, where I can stay overnight
I accept the kind offer and over a cup of tea
He asks what made me so determined to flee
I tell him that my family is Godless, I’ll never go back
All of a sudden my friend goes on the attack,
“Religion is foolish!”
“Religion is poison!”
“How can you believe in this bollocks, are you crazy?”
My friend is angry
He seems to hate God
I think my friend’s an Atheist!
I run from the flat, I go to my church
And without too much searching I find my priest
Here’s someone who can help me a little at least
My priest sees me crying and asks what is my problem?
My pets, my Mum, my closest friend
They’re all Godless and now I must kill them
It’s right there in the bible, I just have no choice
My priest at these words does not rejoice
“The bible is old”
“It’s very out dated”
“You must understand, its importance is inflated.”
I stare at my priest, in total disbelief
He doesn’t think the bible has relevance?
It’s the one book
The one tome
The very backbone of Christian beliefs
I think my priest’s an Atheist!
This is crazy, this is sickening
I feel I’m alone.
My pets, my Mother, my friend and now even my priest!
Am I the only one faithful? With God fearing beliefs?
Can somebody answer me, why am I an outcast!?
A sign? A revelation? Anything at all????
Is nobody listening? Is nobody there???
I think that I’m an Atheist.